What are you chasing?

At the start of each season, I have to ask myself a few questions. What do you want out of what you are doing? What is acceptable? What is enough? What is/are YOUR goal(s)? What do you NEED out of this experience?

All of these are valid questions for instructors and students. Before going on answer this, why are you doing this? Now that you gave yourself the PG answer (I want to get better...I want to be great...I want to grow...I want to give students a great experience), what is the real answer to that question.

Your PG answer is totally fine, but for most people that doesn't necessarily fulfill what they want/need out of an experience. Truth is, we also need something out of our experiences. We do A LOT of it for the students. I do A LOT of it for my students. I get great joy out of seeing them break through their walls. I get great joy out of watching them perform the heck out of their music on a concert. I am SO PROUD of the ones that go on to major in music and experience success. HOWEVER...those things don't pay my bills and they don't fulfill my soul by themselves.

Chasing greatness...that is what I want. That is what most people want out of most experiences. I don't think there is anything wrong with that either. Now...not everything will end up being great at the end. That is also TOTALLY FINE because everything that is not puts me one step, or one idea, closer to finding greatness.

So what is "greatness"? I think it is different for everyone based on their own personal experiences. Early in my teaching career, it was acknowledgement. I wanted to be acknowledged by judges. I wanted to be acknowledged by my mentors. I wanted to be acknowledged by my peers. Those things are great, but they leave you chasing a bouncing ball. One set of judges says you need this, so you do that. The next set of judges say the opposite, so you change back. The next set says you need something in the middle... Are you chasing greatness, or are you chasing points? Are you chasing greatness, or are you chasing winning? Are you chasing great, or are you chasing a fleeting feeling?

Later in my career, I had accomplished some of the above things but not all of them. I had taught World Class drum corps and World Class indoor drumline. I had groups make semi-finals, or finals, in DCI, PSA, PSO, PSCO, PIO and PIW and a few groups won/medaled. One day I asked myself what I had left to prove, and I realized that other people might not recognize me, or my accomplishments, buy I had nothing more to prove to anyone else but myself. I don't need one set of judges (or peers) to tell me what I did was great, and another set to have a difference of opinion. I have had groups experience "great" before. I know what that feels like. And THAT feeling is what I chase.

I know you can experience that at any level. I know I experienced that in April, in a warm up tent after a storm with my A class students when I had to choke back tears to run warm up. I know I felt that in a parking lot rehearsal in 2014 with my high school students. I know I felt that many times with my world class students. I know that for nearly every time I felt something was great, someone had the opinion that it wasn't.

One of my favorite moments in last winters show with my HS group was born from a conversation with a judge in critique. They mentioned that a transition bothered them and it needed something else. The idea for that transition was born at that table when I pitched an idea and they said "yeah maybe...try it." Greatness is achieved through teamwork, and collaboration, but it starts with a vision. Do you believe in your vision? Are you chasing a bouncing ball? Do you believe in yourself as a performer, instructor, designer, etc.?

Like I asked at the start of this... What do you want/need out of the experience you are heading in to? I hope you get everything you are looking for.